lost_boy | [morning after mardi gras]

Last night felt like a whirlwind.

I usually loved the parties Magnus threw, but last night the flying had left me shaken and panicked, afraid of everything from the Island coming back for me, right up until the moment Eddie had shouted at me to stop running. It was an incredible thing, having a night turn around so completely, but within less than half an hour with Eddie, I had gone from feeling as if my chest was being crushed by some awfully heavy weight, to feeling like I could fly without any help from the beads. Like I could fly and it would be the most wonderful thing in the world instead of the most frightening.

And Eddie loved me. Nothing could be frightening after that.

When Eddie suggested we go to Elio's instead of going back to the Home, I had jumped at the chance to spend the night with him instead of in a completely different room. I hated that the Home had separated us once they found out what was going on, but I also knew I couldn't do anything about it.

This was good, though. It was nice. Even having to sleep on a couch didn't make it any less comfortable. I had spent years sleeping under the roots of a tree, sleeping peacefully and comfortably on a dirt floor with a dozen other boys and their skinny limbs draped across me. Pressing close to Eddie on a couch wasn't a hardship at all. I would have stayed here forever if I could.

Except right now I had to pee. I carefully extricated myself from where I was sleeping and yanked on my clothes before I tiptoed down the hall to the bathroom. I still wasn't sure how strange Oliver found my presence to be, so I didn't want to wake him by accident. I was as quiet as possible, but on the way back to the couch I spotted Elio out on the patio and went in that direction instead.

"Hi," I said, my voice soft. "Good morning."

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"You're such a good boy," I tease with a brotherly grin, giving him a squeeze and tickling his side with a laugh. "If you ever get the urge to clean another bathroom, there's one here for you."

At the mention of his phone, I let out a groan and look over at mine. It's sitting on the table next to my empty coffee cup displaying the time, and I reach out to turn it onto its face.

"I went my entire life without having anything like a cell phone, and now I'm kind of addicted to the thing," I tell him, turning my gaze back over to him. "I like how it lets me be connected to people, and how it puts every song I could ever want in my pocket."

I didn't think I needed to be that connected to people. I liked that I could call people or text them and that they could reach me, but so many of the kids at school were always using their phones for something. I didn't think my phone was that interesting and I didn't know much about music, so I didn't have any of it on my phone.

"I like podcasts," I said, brightening a little. "That's the best part of my phone."

But podcasts didn't go anywhere if they took my phone away for a little while. They would all be there when I got it back.

"There are some interesting podcasts. I like one about history," I tell Jamie, looking over at him with a teasing smile.

"You have to have some pictures of your boyfriend on there?" My smile grows wider and I give him a playful poke in the side. "That's not the best part?"

"Well, I like that part, but I can see Eddie in person all the time," I said. The pictures were nice, but they were only pictures. Eddie himself was much better and while we didn't have classes together, we were at the same school and we lived at the same place.

"I've gotten very good at sneaking into and out of his room," I told Elio with a sly grin. "They tried to separate us, but they can't really stop me from going into his room at night."

And now they had privacy they hadn't before.

"I take pictures of Oliver all the time," I say with a laugh, because even though I see him every day, I like to capture those memories of us. It's so easy to do with a phone, to snap a photo and have it right there in your pocket forever, and I haven't gotten over the novelty.

I laugh outright at Jamie's mischievous little grin, because I know exactly what such a smile would mean on my own face. "Very sneaky," I tell him. "You two are very sweet."

After ruffling Jamie's hair, I twist around to look through the window. From this angle I can see Eddie's foot hanging off of the sofa, and Oliver is still nowhere to be seen. "I wonder if they'll sleep all day. Perhaps we wore them out."

I wrinkled my nose at Elio and my cheeks flushed as I pushed against his side, not to get away, but to give him a gentle shove for what he had just said.

"We didn't- I mean... not that. Not on your couch." We had kissed a lot and maybe some other stuff, but I didn't think it was polite to do too many sex things on someone else's couch. It hadn't felt very private either, far too exposed, and I preferred knowing it was just me and Eddie.

"He can sleep a lot, though," I said, looking fondly at his foot through the window. "Everyone at the Home keeps saying we sleep a lot because we're growing, but I haven't grown much since I got here."

“Hey, I’ve had some very exhausting make out sessions. You’re the one implying things,” I say, laughing as he shoves me. “And don’t worry, that couch has seen worse.”

I laugh again because it’s so fun to tease Jamie. It’s always with fondness, as I’m sure he knows. It’s probably terrible of me, but he’s just such an easy target.

We settle down and I twist around to follow Jamie’s gaze. Eddie has grown even in the time that I’ve known him, and he’s still got awhile to go. “Yeah, when I was about fourteen, I spent almost a whole summer sleeping and eating because I grew so fast.”

I shoot him a look. “Not as fast as you, of course.”

"Well, that was different," I said, because I didn't think anyone went from eight to twelve nearly overnight, then from twelve to sixteen in a matter of weeks. If not for coming to Darrow, I suspected I would have become a full grown man not long after that, but it was if this city had somehow halted it. Made it so I was aging properly for the first time since I was truly eight years old.

"Do you think I'll grow more still?" I asked. "I was five feet and ten inches the last time I was measured. I think I would like to be taller than this, but not yet. Eddie could catch up a little bit more first."

I didn't mind that he was shorter than me. I just didn't want him to feel like he was too small.

"Well, I would assume that you'd catch up to me, and I'm still creeping up a little," I tell him. Most of my growing is done, I think, but I've gained about another inch in my time in Darrow. "So a little, but not much more."

That is, of course, assuming that Jamie and I really are identical. All evidence points to it. We have the same moles, the same freckles. I'm sure we'll have the same height once all is said and done. It used to be unsettling, having this copy of myself, but I've gotten used to it as just another eccentricity of the city, and I'm grateful to have Jamie in my life.

"Or maybe all the coffee and cigarettes have stunted my growth, and you'll be a giant," I tease, pulling my feet up onto the loveseat and tucking my toes under the blanket. "But I doubt it. I would like to leave the being a giant to Oliver."

"How tall are you?" I asked, looking at Elio curiously. For the most part, I didn't pay much attention to how tall people were, but I was curious if we really would end up being the same height. We looked alike, but we had different parents, after all. My father had been a very tall man and my mother had been tall, too.

"Oliver's not really a giant," I added. "He's about the same height as my dad was. It seemed giant when I was little."

Now it just seemed tall. Pretty tall. I didn't think I wanted to be that tall.

"Six foot even." The comment about Oliver makes me smile and I nod my head. "I like that he's so tall."

I twist to look at Eddie's foot again, bit like a puppy's paw, and chuckle softly. "I wonder what he's going to top out at."

I looked at Eddie's foot as well and shrugged, smiling. I didn't care how tall or short Eddie was, because I loved him exactly as who he was and who he would be. There were times when other people at school made it seem like our relationship wouldn't last that long, they said no one stayed together for that long in high school, but I wasn't going to listen to them. Our relationship was ours and no one else's.

And I loved him just for being him.

"Maybe he'll be as tall as Oliver," I said, grinning. "Taller."

“Oh, that’d be a sight,” I say with a laugh. I don’t think it’ll necessarily happen, because I would think he’d be taller by now if he were, but stranger things have happened.

I reach over and tap Jamie’s foot through the blanket before I gather up my things and move to stand. “Come on, let’s go wake up our respective others. Maybe I can get Oliver to make us pancakes.”

[morning after mardi gras]

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