lost_boy | (no subject)

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elio

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I understood a lot of Halloween traditions in Darrow, as they were similar to things we had done back in London, and it was nice to have something so familiar and comforting as that. I was excited for it, I enjoyed knowing it was something that didn't make me feel entirely out of place, even though some aspects weren't quite the same.

The haunted houses, for example, were very new.

I had already been to one with Eddie and some of the other kids from the home, but it seemed like there was a new one nearly every weekend. When Elio asked if I wanted to go, I nearly jumped at the chance, because I had liked the first one so much. Being scared, as it turned out, when there wasn't really anything to be truly afraid of, was an exhilarating kind of experience. I had laughed and screamed and jumped in the last haunted house, clutching Eddie's hand or Beverly's shoulder, and I wanted to do it again.

I was waiting impatiently outside of the Home for Elio. I had been told I had a curfew, as usual, but that was okay. I had some money in my pocket for the entrance fee and for dinner if we wanted to have some. Mostly I was excited for the haunted house, though. I couldn't wait. I hoped Elio was the sort to scream.

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I hadn’t really wanted to leave Oliver while he still wasn’t feeling well, but he assured me that he would just be catching up on some sleep and that I should go have some fun. It took a bit of convincing to get me out of the house, but I finally left. I took a car out to the city, because after the evening’s plans, I doubt that I would want to bike back to the lake alone at night.

The car pulls up in front of the children’s home and I thank the driver, confirming payment on the app as I claim out. There really is no reason to carry cssh anymore. Sometimes I am still blown away by how far technology has come in thirty years, but I’ve mostly gotten used to it.

Jamie is waiting otside and I shove my hands into the pockets of my hoodie as I approach, bumping his shoulder with mine in greeting. “Hey kid,” I tease, jerking my chin towards the home. “No one else coming?”

"No," I answered, looking toward the Home, as if I was expecting someone to come out anyway. I hadn't invited anyone else, though, and I didn't think Elio had either, otherwise Oliver would probably be with him now.

"I think Eddie is with Richie and Beverly at Bev's new place," I told him. "And I'm not sure where Achilles is. Should I have invited them?"

Maybe Elio wouldn't have minded. I still didn't completely understand all the social rules of a place like this and I wasn't sure if it was normal to invite all your friends everywhere or if sometimes certain things were just for certain friends.

"Nah, it'll be nice to be just us twins," I say with a smirk, nudging him with my shoulder again before we start walking off together, side by side. I've mostly gotten used to being around someone who looks exactly like me, and now it's kind of fun to see the slight double takes when people see us together. I never had a sibling, let alone a twin, and I have to wonder if it might feel something like this. "Besides, I want to hear all about how it's going with Eddie."

I'm not sure why that I'm so invested in their blossoming romance, but they're both good, sweet kids and it's nice to see them find happiness in each other without all the trepidation that comes with the stigma of being queer. Here, we aren't other. We blend in seamlessly.

We get to the ticket booth and I wave off Jamie's attempts to pay for himself as I get us each a wristband. "You can buy me a caramel apple later."

I flushed and squirmed a little when Elio said he wanted to hear about how things were going with Eddie, not because I didn't want to tell him, but I still wasn't always sure how to talk about it. I liked Eddie so much and I liked being with him, but I was also aware there were expectations on people in relationships. Expectations of things I wasn't ready to fulfill.

I didn't think Eddie was either, which was a relief, but it still meant questions or comments I didn't always know what to do with.

"Things are good," I said, tucking my money away. I would buy Elio something later, I never wanted to take advantage of anyone's generosity. "With Eddie, I mean. I like him a lot. We didn't tell any of the workers at the Home so they haven't made us move into different rooms yet."

"Yeah, I wouldn't tell them," I agree, though I'm sure my reasoning for not doing so would be much more sex-related than theirs is, I'm sure. I haven't outright asked, but I get the impression that they haven't done much in that regard. They're young, still. I was sleeping with girls at their age, but I had a much different upbringing than Jamie, at least. There's no rush, anyway. "I'm glad you guys are happy. You deserve it."

I give Jamie a warm smile and then look around at what the festival has to offer, pressing up onto my toes and rubbing my hands together. "What do you say, straight to the haunted house? Or should we play some games first?"

I wasn't sure if that was true, if I deserved happiness after all the things I had done, but I knew Eddie deserved it. And if I could be part of what made him happy, then I would be, for as long as he wanted me to. That I got to be happy, too, was a bit of luck I'd never imagined I would have. Not after Sal died.

"The haunted house," I answered with a smile. I had liked the last one so much, I was excited to see how this one was different. I hoped it was just as scary. I knew I wasn't easily frightened, but the spirit of the house had gotten my heart rate up and I had wanted to go all over again as soon as it was done.

"Eddie's friend Richie is here now, too," I said. "He's a friend from home. It's nice, he has Richie and Beverly now." I wasn't even jealous most of the time, because Richie and Beverly were my friends, too. "Except Richie talks about dicks a lot."

"Haunted house it is," I reply, heading towards the back of the festival and the faint sound of screams. "Oh yeah? He sounds like a treat."

Whenever I hear about other people my friends know showing up in the city, I am filled with dueling senses of jealousy and relief. As much as I want to see my parents or Marzia again, I'm not sure that I would wish Darrow on them. I would rather they be at home and happy, with nothing amiss. I can stomach missing them, as long as they aren't missing me.

"I haven't done one of these in years," I say as we get in line, pressing up onto my toes to try and get a look at the front before turning to give Jamie a teasing smile. "You'll have to hold my hand. You're way more tough than me."

"He's nice," I answered with a laugh, then lowered my voice. "He just... asks stuff. About me and Eddie. Mostly to embarrass us, I think, but not in a mean way."

Nothing Richie said seemed to be intended to be cruel. He teased and made jokes and asked us if we had touched dicks yet and it made me squirm and turn red, but I never felt like he was trying to be mean. I just also felt really young and really uninformed. I wanted to ask Elio about sex, because I thought he would be honest with me, and between him and Magnus I might actually figure some things out, but I was too nervous to just come out with it now.

I gave a snort of laughter when Elio said I would have to hold his hand. "I bet even you could fight the plastic ghosts inside," I teased back. "Maybe you'll have to protect me."

"That does sound like a teenage boy," I admit with a chuckle, smiling softly when I notice the faint flush on Jamie's cheeks. Boys can be cruel without meaning to, and Jamie has it hard enough to navigate through all of this. "Don't let him tease you too much. And you know you can always talk to me."

We get up to the front of the line and show off our wristbands, and I reach down to take Jamie's hand and thread our fingers together as we wait to be let into the house. "You know, there was a horror movie with scary twins. That would make a killer Halloween costume."

"Scary twins?" I asked as Elio took my hand. "What made them scary?"

I didn't really understand how it could be a costume, since we already looked alike without even trying to do anything special. I also didn't think we were particularly scary, not just to look at us.

The rest of it I left alone for now. I decided I would be able to ask him after the haunted house, I would think of what I wanted to know and would just come right out and ask. The problem is that I didn't always know what I wanted to know. I had tried to do some research in the library, but it hadn't really told me much.

"I suppose the setting is more what made it scary," I reply, nose wrinkling a bit. Not many people in Darrow would get a Shining reference, I imagine. We would just look like two guys in matching dresses. "They were creepy. But we're not creepy. We're adorable."

We step up to the minder outside the door to the haunted house still holding hands, and maybe they have seem The Shining because he gives us a bit of a double take before waving us into the pitch black entryway. The fake rolling fog burns my sinuses and I peer into the darkness, laughing a bit when I hear the screams coming from ahead of us. We barely make it around the corner before something jumps out at us in a flash of light, and I let out a very unmanly yelp as I flinch away, immediately laughing at myself as I drag Jamie along.

In another situation, one I didn't know was supposed to be fun, I probably would have struck the thing that jumped out at us. It was still my instinct, to protect myself, to protect others, but I was prepared for it and I laughed, jumping into Elio's side when he yelped.

From deeper within the house came an ominous laugh and I laughed again in return. I knew it was supposed to be frightening, but mostly I was just having a good time.

Then, right under me, someone grabbed my ankle and I swear I jumped nearly a foot in the air. At least I didn't kick them. "Something grabbed me," I told Elio, still giggling.

"Jesus." Jamie jumps up and I laugh, keeping a hold of his hand as we dance away from the grabber. "I hope these people get hazard pay. There's no way they don't get kicked in the face."

We turn a corner and push through heavy black plastic flaps to enter a pitch black hallway. I can't see anything and the spooky music gets louder and more ominous. A creepy laugh filters through a speaker near my ear and I dart forward, heading straight first into a wall. I bounce backwards and bump into Jamie, laughing around a groan as I reach up to rub at my nose. "Okay, hands out. No more finding the way with my nose."

With Jamie's hand still in mine, I reach out with the other to feel my way along the wall until we turn a corner and push through another heavy curtain. The next room is bathed in red light, and I dart away as a clown chases after me with a knife. "Oh fuck that. Next room, next room!"

"Careful, be careful," I said to Elio, laughing when he bumped into the wall. He'd gone forward so quickly, I hadn't been able to stop him, even though it hadn't been a very good idea in the dark.

Clowns were an odd thing. I had never really liked them, but it wasn't until coming to Darrow that I realized just how many people were afraid of them and I nearly cackled with laughter as Elio ran from the clown, cursing as he went. The clown turned on me next, which I didn't want either, and still laughing, I chased after Elio and ran into his back in the next room.

"Clowns are-" But I was cut off by a moaning sound right near my left ear and I jumped, grabbing Elio by his shoulders.

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