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Jamie ([personal profile] lost_boy) wrote2020-03-21 01:39 pm
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"They gave me a list," I announced as I walked into Eddie's room, glad to find it otherwise empty, and then flung myself facedown on his bed.

I knew that wasn't going to make sense to him. I hadn't even been aware of the ambush before it was suddenly happening and three of the volunteers were pulling me into the kitchen of the Home to sit down and make a list with me. My eighteenth birthday was still months away and I had decided to focus on school before even beginning to worry about leaving, but apparently that wasn't going to be as easy as I thought.

The volunteers wanted to help me. They wanted to make sure I was prepared. So now I had a list. I wished they understood I didn't need a list of household items to be prepared for having to leave the Home. It went deeper than that, running right down into the fear I had of being alone. Being without a group of people around me at almost all times.

It was something I was working on with my therapist, but it wasn't just going to go away overnight. And it wasn't something I talked about much otherwise, so I knew there was no way for them to know, but making sure I bought myself a set of pots and pans wasn't going to make this easier.

I lifted my hand and waved the list at Eddie, then turned my head so I could look at him.

"They want me to go shopping for some of these things," I said, then sighed. "They said they'll keep them in storage for me until August."
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[personal profile] eddie_spaghetti 2020-03-23 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
Sprawled on his stomach pretending to study for his Geometry final, Eddie jolted, dropping his pencil and turning his head just in time to watch Jamie belly flop onto his mattress with enough force to send one of his books clattering to the floor.

"Hey," he said with a strangled laugh, his annoyance overshadowed by his curiosity over what had Jamie acting like such a drama queen.

"Wait, seriously?" He asked, a weight sinking to the pit of his stomach as he took the list and sat cross-legged on the bed. "That's like, ages away. Why do they want you to do it now?"
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[personal profile] eddie_spaghetti 2020-03-28 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah, but it's almost six months," Eddie said, feeling immediately guilty for how his stomach twisted with nerves.

His fingers felt sweaty on the page, and he stared at it until the letters started to go all blurry.

"Miss James pulled me into the office earlier," he admitted, shoving the list back into Jamie's hands. "She wanted to talk about it. About when you have to move out."
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[personal profile] eddie_spaghetti 2020-04-03 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)
"She wanted to know if I'd thought about like, what it would mean to move out. Like, the paperwork and stuff. The responsibilities, I guess," he said, shrugging stiffly. "She thinks we're rushing into it. Like, that I'm not ready, or we're not, you know. Ready to live in the same place."

To live together.

"She said I don't have to do something just because you're doing it, which is... That's not the only reason."
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[personal profile] eddie_spaghetti 2020-04-10 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
"I told her it wasn't just some stupid whim. We've talked about it," he said, and Jamie was doing a good job of hiding his feelings about the whole thing, but Eddie was his boyfriend. He could tell when the other boy was upset.

"She just kept insisting. Gently. Like she was talking to one of the second floor kids." He rubbed absently at his cheek, a frown etched deep across his brow.

"She thinks I can't take care of myself."
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[personal profile] eddie_spaghetti 2020-04-15 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
Eddie decided it probably wasn't a good idea to point out that sixteen was still a kid, by most standards, and killing a murderous clown at thirteen hadn't really prepared him for having a job and bills to pay.

"She thinks I haven't thought about any of it. I have a budget. Like, a whole book," he said, twisting around to fish the dog-eared notebook from his bedside table. In it, he'd written down all the things he knew they'd need to pay for each month. All the things they'd be responsible for. All the things that might go wrong. Looking at it for too long kind of freaked him out, but it also really helped him, just knowing he had it. Knowing he was prepared.
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[personal profile] eddie_spaghetti 2020-04-20 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
"Uh, obviously," Eddie said, leaning back to look at Jamie like he'd lost his mind. "I'm not sending you out there on your own. It's supposed to be our place, right? We pick out that stuff together."

He relaxed, leaning his head against Jamie's shoulder.

"We can do this. It's just... I don't know. It sucks that everybody else thinks we're not ready."