lost_boy | (no subject)

"They gave me a list," I announced as I walked into Eddie's room, glad to find it otherwise empty, and then flung myself facedown on his bed.

I knew that wasn't going to make sense to him. I hadn't even been aware of the ambush before it was suddenly happening and three of the volunteers were pulling me into the kitchen of the Home to sit down and make a list with me. My eighteenth birthday was still months away and I had decided to focus on school before even beginning to worry about leaving, but apparently that wasn't going to be as easy as I thought.

The volunteers wanted to help me. They wanted to make sure I was prepared. So now I had a list. I wished they understood I didn't need a list of household items to be prepared for having to leave the Home. It went deeper than that, running right down into the fear I had of being alone. Being without a group of people around me at almost all times.

It was something I was working on with my therapist, but it wasn't just going to go away overnight. And it wasn't something I talked about much otherwise, so I knew there was no way for them to know, but making sure I bought myself a set of pots and pans wasn't going to make this easier.

I lifted my hand and waved the list at Eddie, then turned my head so I could look at him.

"They want me to go shopping for some of these things," I said, then sighed. "They said they'll keep them in storage for me until August."

Threaded | Flat

Sprawled on his stomach pretending to study for his Geometry final, Eddie jolted, dropping his pencil and turning his head just in time to watch Jamie belly flop onto his mattress with enough force to send one of his books clattering to the floor.

"Hey," he said with a strangled laugh, his annoyance overshadowed by his curiosity over what had Jamie acting like such a drama queen.

"Wait, seriously?" He asked, a weight sinking to the pit of his stomach as he took the list and sat cross-legged on the bed. "That's like, ages away. Why do they want you to do it now?"