all this has happened before

[lost_boy]

We were running. Running from Peter. Running toward the pirates.

It hadn't been difficult to convince the others this was our best option, not after all Peter had done. They knew now, they had seen what he was like, they'd been viewed under the cold, dismissive gaze of Peter Pan and understood he thought nothing of them. Of us. Because I may have been his favourite once, but it was clear I was too grown up, too close to being a man to be loved by him any longer.

I knew that had upset me once, but now, surrounded by my friends, running toward other friends, I didn't feel that same sense of loss that I had before. As with Charlie and Sal and Nod, I was choosing these good people, people I loved, and I was turning my back on Peter.

We crossed the Island, skirting the plans with the Many-Eyed, taking the path up into the mountains, toward Bear Cave, and then beyond. I paused at the cave, remembering Harry and his death here, but only for a moment. I had learned long ago how to mourn my friends while on the move and today was no different. My other friends needed me now, they needed me to lead them to safety away from Peter.

Leading the way down the mountain path, past the Marking Rock, I could see the camp and the cove in the distance, the shipped docked where it usually was when the pirates weren't away, raiding whatever places they were able to find. And I could see people. Pirates, yes, but familiar faces, too, and I picked up my pace, hurrying the others toward them.

[Coming together post! Gathering, as usual, Jamie and everyone who was with him at the tree is going to come to the pirate camp/the Jolly Roger, so feel free to have threads that take place on the ship or on the shore at the camp. Also feel free to employ fairies if you like, they'll be spying for Peter, who'll be coming soon enough. In a few days I'll post a second top level for Jamie and Peter's big final fight where Jamie will be losing his right hand.]

Comments

[lost_boy]

Something was wrong with me. Something was different. I knew what it was, I was staring at the evidence lying in the sand, my fingers still wrapped around the handle of my sword, but I couldn't make sense of what I was seeing.

There was a crack, like lightning in a summer storm, and I tried to look up to see what was happening, but my horrified gaze wouldn't leave my hand. My hand. Just a hand. It wasn't part of me any longer.

"Aggie," I answered when she said my name. Her arm was warm and I couldn't understand why I felt so cold. The Island was always so warm. "I think something is wrong."

[ghost_holder]

Despite the warm sun overhead, Jamie is unbelievably clammy. Without any second thoughts, she's quickly ripping apart her skirt to wrap around Jamie's hand. The place where it should be. "Stay awake," she pleads. "Stay with me." That monstrous Pan doesn't get to take Jamie like this.

Her other hand trembling, Aggie summons a fingertip's worth of power and presses it to Jamie's chest, trying to shock him, to wake him up.

"It's going to be okay. It–it's going to be."

[lost_boy]

"He took my hand," I said in a shaking voice, just before a little shock of electricity went through me. My eyes widened and I coughed, but whatever Aggie had done felt a little bit better. Like I was more awake than I had been just a moment before. More aware.

The situation was bad, I knew that much, but if we could stop the bleeding, I knew I wouldn't die. I would just live like this, without my right hand, and I would have to figure out how to do things all over again. Perhaps I no longer needed to carry a sword, but I wrote with my right hand, I used it to eat, for almost everything, and I would have to start from scratch. From the beginning. Like a child.

"There's a doctor on board the ship," I said. "I think there is. Someone I taught when he was a boy. I'm not... not a doctor. I only mean..." But I wasn't sure what I was trying to say.

[ghost_holder]

"I know, I know..." Aggie says. She draws on every lesson she ever learned from mentors like Barbara and Krem, everything they ever taught her about staying calm. None of it prepares her for the sight of her friend clearly going into shock and losing blood by what feels like the bucketful, no matter her efforts to stanch the bleeding.

"A doctor. Okay." She leans into Jamie and tries to brace her shoulder beneath his arm and lever them up. "I know who you mean. We'll find him."

They'll find him and Jamie will heal. Aggie doesn't care anymore that this is probably a dream, their bodies lying asleep somewhere. What happens in these dreams when someone dies? She doesn't want to find out.

[lost_boy]

I needed to stand. I knew I needed to stand and I knew Aggie was trying to help me in the way she pushed her shoulder under my arm, but my legs felt like they were suddenly useless. I closed my eyes and focused, then exhaled shakily and forced myself to get up.

I had done a lot of difficult things, especially in the years I had lived here, but standing up after losing my hand was the hardest.

"I hate him so much," I whispered to Aggie. "I just hate him."

[ghost_holder]

"You're better than him." Aggie says it sharply and with conviction, voice raised in the direction where she last saw the flying boy. "You're my friend and you're better than him." Maybe she's a witch but she's not the kind with spoken incantations, but she pronounces the words like they'll protect Jamie.

Jamie finally stands on his own but Aggie puts all of her own weight and strength into helping him stay upright, determined not to lose her nerve either.

[lost_boy]

I didn't know if that was true, but I didn't have the strength to argue. Peter had only done to me what I had done to countless pirates before and for some reason they had welcomed us anyway.

I didn't deserve that. I didn't deserve any of this.

"Do you know where Eddie is?" I asked as we stumbled toward the ship. "I... I want to see him."

[ghost_holder]

"I don't," Aggie admits. "But I promise you I'll find him." She means every word but there's a part of her, right now, that's willing to say anything as long is it'll get Jamie any measure of peace. Fear and panic will only make healing him more difficult.

"Stay awake okay? We're almost there. Don't make me zap you again."

[lost_boy]

I nodded and kept moving. "I'm awake," I said. "I am. I'm awake."

And I would stay awake until I could see Eddie. There was nothing in this world that would keep me from seeing him again and I didn't want to believe I might die from my wounds, not because I was afraid of death, but because I knew what it would do to Eddie. Even if we all woke up in Darrow all over again, just like Richie had after dying in Regan's world, I didn't think Eddie would be able to take it.

I couldn't do that to him. It wasn't going to happen.