lost_boy | (no subject)

This was it, my very first birthday party.

I was nervous and excited and I was probably driving Eddie and Magnus both absolutely mad with all my checking and rechecking of things. I wanted to make sure everything was exactly right, because I had never thrown a party before and although Magnus had helped me quite a bit, I still felt like I needed to make sure I didn't make a mess of it. I knew the rules -- no going upstairs, no alcohol -- and I would make sure everyone else knew it, too, because I didn't want to disappoint Magnus with any terrible behaviour. He was doing me a very big favour, letting me use his place and his pool to have a proper party and I wasn't going to take that for granted.

There was food and drink of all kinds, and plenty of snacks. The pool was lit up with different colours that would get brighter as the sun set and all sorts of inflatable toys could be found so people could just float if they wanted to. At the shallow end of the pool was a little floating basketball net and a bunch of inflatable balls to use with it. There were toys for diving, even a little obstacle course under water with rings people could swim through. The towels were big and fluffy, the chairs were comfortable, and there was even a big birthday cake with my name on it and seventeen candles, although that was for later.

All I had really wanted, I told Magnus, was for it to remind me of his party with all the colours. The one where Eddie and I had first kissed, and he had come through for me. The decorations were fun and bright and everywhere I looked there was a different coloured light.

I had invited all my friends, regardless of their age, so that meant there were little kids on the guest list and adults, too. A part of me worried some of the other kids around my age might think that was weird, but in the end I decided I didn't care that much. I wanted my friends to be here with me, all my friends, and not all my friends were the same age. I liked that about them all very much.

As the first people started to arrive, I clutched Eddie's hand nervously, beaming at him, then kissed him quickly on the cheek before going to greet people. I was supposed to be the host, after all. It was my first party.

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"Is there one that's inside?" Luke's never been to an indoor pool before. It sounds like something rich people have in their houses. "That'd be so cool. I should ask Saoirse if she goes there too, I know she loves the water." And if she doesn't know, that means he gets to be the one to tell her that she can swim inside all winter. He's not sure about going by himself, without any friends, but maybe Saoirse would go with him. Or Jamie, but he knows he's a lot more busy being in high school.

"Did you open any presents yet?" He'd brought a present, though he's not sure if Jamie will like it. He hopes he will. There's this store that turns drawings into stuff, and he'd gotten one of the carers to take him. He'd drawn a very, very careful drawing of him and Jamie in the front yard with the Home behind them, and they'd turned it into a mug, and on the other side he'd written as neatly as he could (with a little spelling help)For Jamie, happy birthday! Love, Luke.

"Uh-huh," I answered. "It's a public pool, it's where they have lessons and sometimes they do something called free swim and anyone can just go and play. And on Sunday afternoons they have kayaking lessons."

I had gone to watch once, curious about what a kayak was and why anyone needed a lesson in it, but I soon understood. A part of me wanted to try it, but I wasn't sure if anyone would want to go with me.

"I haven't opened any, not yet," I said. I had seen Luke's writing on one of the boxes, though. "Would you like me to open yours?"

"Wow," he says. He isn't sure if his picture of a kayak is right in his head, but he thinks it's like a canoe. He knows people go kayaking in the river they'd passed over on the way to Hill House but that always sounds like something people in magazines or tv shows do, not them. "That's really cool. I definitely want to go," he nods.

He smiles a little shyly. "You don't have to," he says, chewing on his lip. "If you're opening everyone's at the same time. Maybe someone else would feel bad I went first."

"No, everyone else is having fun in the pool," I answered with a grin. "I don't think they would even notice. And can I tell you a secret? I've never really had a birthday party before, so I've never had birthday presents. I think I might feel too nervous having to open them all at the same time and having everyone watch me."

I knew that was how it was supposed to go, but I didn't think I liked that particular birthday tradition. It was more personal this way, too, I thought. Opening each gift with just the person who had given it to me. That way I could thank them properly and let them know just how much it meant to me that they'd thought to bring me something.

Luke's eyes go a little wide. "You've never had a birthday party?" That's awful, though he remembers Jamie told him about living on an island, so maybe they don't have birthday parties there. "I'm extra glad this is a good one then."

That makes him feel a little better about wanting Jamie to see what he brought him and he nods. "Yeah, let me show you! I think you get to do whatever way you want, since it's your birthday." He gets up on the steps to go out of the pool. "I really hope you like it."

"I'm sure I will," I said with a grin as I followed Luke out of the pool. In my life, I hadn't been given many gifts. Eddie had given me some and I imagined my mother must have given me something at one point or another, but mostly it was very unusual.

I hadn't expected anyone to bring me gifts today. I hadn't asked. But I knew I would be happy with everything brought. It meant so much that they were here at all.

Luke walks over to the table where he and several others had put ther gifts down and picks it out. It's in a box that they'd wrapped at the store with bright blue wrapping paper covered in silver confetti, and he holds it up to Jamie, eyes fixed on him.

"Here it is," he says, and chews on the inside of his lip a little bit.

I knew sometimes grown ups faked it for little kids. They called it humouring them, as if kids weren't smart enough to know when someone wasn't being entirely honest with them. I thought it was stupid and cruel and I didn't understand why grown ups weren't genuinely excited whenever someone did something kind for them.

As I unwrapped the box and took out the mug, my eyes lit up. I turned it over to look at the picture, then looked to Luke with a smile.

"Did you make this?" I asked.

Jamie's eyes brighten, like he's really excited, and Luke relaxes, grinning.

"Yeah!" he says, then, because he thinks it's important to be correct, adds, "Well, I made the drawing and the note and the store puts it on." He adds hopefully, "There was lots of stuff there, but I thought everyone can use a cup."

"Luke," I said, still grinning. "This is really great. Thank you."

When I had to leave the Home next year, it could be my first piece of dishware in my new place, wherever it ended up being. And until then, I would keep it safe with my other things.

"Thank you," I said again as I set it aside carefully so as not to knock it when I crouched down and opened my arms to give him a hug. "I really love it."

Luke beams, even more so when Jamie bends down to give him a hug. There aren't a lot of hugs here, which he feels baby-ish for missing, but it's even better when he gets one from someone he likes so much.

He wraps his arms around Jamie to give him a big tight hug. "I'm so glad," he tells him earnestly, "I really wanted it to be a good birthday."