lost_boy | (no subject)

Lisbeth was coming to visit me at the Home today.

I had told her weeks ago that she could and I was excited that she was coming, not because I thought the Home was anything particularly special, but because I knew it would make her feel better about the fact that I had to live here. I didn't mind it, but I liked being around my friends and so close to Eddie, even if they had made us move into separate rooms now. I knew Lisbeth had bad associations with places like this, though, and I wanted to make it easier for her.

Truthfully, I liked that she was worried. It meant she cared and for such a long time, I had been the one taking care of everyone else, so it was nice that now someone wanted to look after me.

I spent the morning tidying up my area of the shared bedroom, making sure my bed was made neatly, the lion Eddie had given me for Valentine's Day sitting proudly on the pillow. My books were stacked on my bedside table, my clothes and shoes stored away where they were meant to. I couldn't make the other boys clean up if they didn't want to, but I was pleased with how my space looked.

More than anything, I wanted for her to be comfortable that I was here. No, that wasn't entirely true. More than anything else, I wanted her and Eddie to like each other. I had promised Eddie she was really cool, although he had looked skeptical when I told him about her motorcycle, and so I had just kissed him and promised he would like her.

I was waiting for her now, sitting on the steps in front of the Home with my phone in my hands, wondering what we would do today. Maybe I could convince Eddie to take a ride on her motorcycle. I laughed as I thought about that, knowing it wasn't likely, but that didn't mean I wouldn't try.

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Lisbeth pauses as she turns off the bike, looking up at the building. It's true that she has terrible associations with any system meant for wards of the state, though she knows this is at least not a hospital. No one is restrained or sedated here; she can't say if the place is filled with the malevolent loneliness she associates with these institutions.

She spots Jamie, though, and the knot in her chest eases, letting her properly park and make her way up to the building. "Hey," she says, her accent a little blunter with her nerves. She's taken some care not to look too abnormal today, a white t-shirt and torn jeans with her leather jacket over top, her make-up light and piercings minimal.

Bursting out of the front doors, out of breath from having run down the stairs and his hair still wet from his shower, Eddie was already mid-sentence as he rushed through the saga of why he was late, "-elieve this, some dick clogged up the drains with gum. Gum. You should've seen Mrs. Robin's face. She was furious. Oh my God, I was like, sure the top of her head was going to explode. It--"

His tirade caught in his throat, hand on Jamie's shoulder and his mouth hanging open.

"Hi, sorry. I didn't--" He cut Jamie a helpless look. "Hi."

"Hi," I said to Lisbeth, although my greeting was cut short when Eddie burst out of the Home and I twisted a little to look at him, grinning at the story about the gum in the drain. Sometimes it still shocked me a little, how much I loved him, the way my chest lurched excitedly at the sight of him, how even just the weight of his hand on my shoulder made me feel tingling and lighter, as if I might float again.

"Hi," I said again, this time to Eddie, then I took his hand off my shoulder and held it between mine. "Lisbeth, this is Eddie. Eddie, this is Lisbeth. Um... I guess you probably won't want to visit the bathroom if it's all full of gum."

Lisbeth has already determined she will like Eddie, unless somehow he proves to be a little asshole that needs to be tossed off a pier. Her eyes have gone a bit wide at the way he explodes from the building, but they take in the next pieces, the important pieces-- the crackle of energy and how it subsides, the way Jamie turns to look at this kid, the touch of their hands.

The corner of her mouth tugs up.

"I've seen worse," she says. "I've done worse." Her eyes, intent and interested, if slightly softened by Jamie's obvious regard, slide to Eddie again. "It's good to meet you." She's honestly a bit taken aback that Jamie wants her to meet his boyfriend, but she has all sorts of horrible problems with soft feelings these days.

"They cleaned it up," he explained breathlessly, "The janitor had this putty knife thing, and they had to take the drain out. It was disgusting in there. I'm never walking on that floor without flip-flops again."

It was pretty obvious how he was eyeing Lisbeth, both intrigued and kind of skeptical, his hand twitching nervously where it was clamped between Jamie's.

"Hey. Hi," he said, lifting his free hand in a wave. "Yeah, you too. Jamie talks about you a lot. Not like, all the time, that would be weird, but, you know..."

I spoke of them both a lot, I realized. When it came to Eddie, I could hardly help myself, if given half the chance I would talk about him to nearly anyone. With Lisbeth I was a little more careful, if only because I knew she was more careful, but I still spoke of her often. Especially around Eddie, because I trusted him more than I did anyone else.

"Let's go inside," I suggested with a helpless grin. I was excited that they were meeting. "Lisbeth wants to make sure we're being taken care of properly because some group homes can be terrible."

Besides the experience with Creepy Tim, I liked living here. I liked being close to my friends, knowing Rosie and Eponine were nearby, knowing I could sneak into Eddie's room and curl around him at night. I was nervous about turning eighteen in a little over a year, and what would change when it happened.

Jamie's clear enthusiasm helps enormously, as does seeing that Eddie's nervous too. She doesn't want to frighten anyone, and she's got her own issues about the building in front of them. Not knowing what's been shared, she sucks her lip piercing for a brief, thoughtful moment before she nods.

"I was in the system in Sweden," she tells Eddie. "I'm sure there were good people and decent places. I never found any. Jamie is humoring me, a little."

It won't help them to look dark and antisocial, so she does her best to school her features into something grave but calm.

"Adults are assholes," Eddie said easily, gripping Jamie's hand and hauling him to his feet.

"I mean, not all of them, I guess," he was quick to amend, because she was definitely a grownup, but maybe just young enough that she still remembered what it was like to be a kid.

"I'm not humouring you," I protested as we went inside, laughing when Eddie claimed adults were assholes. They weren't all that way, especially not Lisbeth and Magnus, but a lot of them could be. I just wasn't as likely to use a word like that to describe them.

"I like that you're worried," I told her. It was kind of like having a big sister, although I was a little afraid to say that, worrying she might not like me the same way.

"They do make me and Eddie sleep in different rooms now," I said. "I don't like that."

Edited 2019-05-16 18:59 (UTC)

"Adults are usually assholes," Lisbeth assures Eddie. "Not always for trying."

She tries to look like she's not a bundle of nerves as she follows them inside, though Jamie's words help, prompting the rare (though not so rare these days) genuine smile. "You don't need me to look out for you, maybe, but I'd still-- I will." She takes in every inch of the place, her eyes moving systematically, memorizing.

"I doubt they'll change their minds on that," she says, with some amusement.

"Everybody needs somebody looking out for them," Eddie pointed out with a shrug. Maybe a big sister, maybe a group of friends, or maybe even a parent, though Eddie didn't really remember what that was like.

The more people looking out for Jamie, the better, and while he didn't know Lisbeth, Eddie hoped she had someone to look out for her, too.

"We weren't doing anything," he insisted, red-faced. "I mean, not much."

That wasn't strictly the truth, we had been doing some things, and I tried to hide a grin when Eddie corrected himself. His cheeks were pink and I wrinkled my nose a little, looking pleased with myself.

"Mostly just sleeping," I agreed. "I'm used to sleeping with a bunch of other boys. I mean- not like that. Eddie's different, you're different," I said directly to him. Now it was my turn to go a little pink and I looked at the stairs.

"Come up here," I said to Lisbeth. "I can show you our rooms. When I first got here, it was just me and Eddie in our room and I would sleep on the floor."

Lisbeth looks between them, and after the sort of veiled check of who else is around that indicates she's very used to hiding her activities, she asks, "Is this a situation where I need to ask if you are using condoms?" She considers it. "It wouldn't be a good idea for me to bring them, but if you need them." She shrugs, and moves along with them.

"They didn't have a bed for you?"

She bites a bit at her lip ring. "Does this place have enough money to keep you all as it should?"