[christmas eve]

[lost_boy]

It was Christmas Eve and I was fairly certain I was going out of my mind with anxiety and excitement.

I had told Eddie we were just going to Kagura for dinner. Earlier in the day, I had gone up without him, checked in, and I had taken our bags, the ones I packed the night before without him noticing. In my own bag was the ring I had settled on, the ring that had jumped out at me long before I expected it would have. In early November, I had promised myself I was just looking. Waiting for the right ring.

By the first of December, I had found it.

It was simple, beautifully polished wood. Simple, but personal. In the end, I hadn't even found it in a jewelry store, but at a small Christmas market, where people were selling their handmade items. This ring was the only one like it, the swirls of the wood making it completely unique. And it felt right.

But our bags and the ring were all waiting in our room. Right now, as we entered Kagura, Eddie only thought we were coming for dinner.

And we were. We could order room service if we wanted to. I expected we would. Maybe even champagne. As we approached the front doors, Eddie's hand in mine, I was glad all over again that I had carefully saved and budgeted for this. I wanted it to be special and I didn't want either of us to have to worry about anything.

Comments

[eddie_spaghetti]

"Nobody's fucking anyone in that tub," Eddie insisted, "Do you know how many bathroom related accidents there are every year?"

He sounded, a bit, like he was trying to convince himself. Screwing around in a bathtub had always sounded like more trouble than it was worth, but he'd never imagined it in a bathtub like this. There were jets.

And it looked really clean. He was actually impressed.

"Wow, that was fast," he said, blinking as he watched Jamie slip out of the bathroom to answer the door.

[lost_boy]

"Okay, but we could make out in it a little," I answered just before I opened the door. The food was wheeled in on a cart, the trays silver, surprising me with how shiny they were. I wasn't sure I had ever seen such a fancy looking spread of food.

The lodge employee was quick, setting the food out on our table and then settling the bucket with the chilled champagne to one side. The glasses he produced with a smile and I realized a little belatedly that I was meant to tip him. The process probably looked ridiculous, me fumbling in my pocket for the right bill, but he didn't seem to mind and he thanked me as he left.

"Well," I said, then turned to grin at Eddie, a little flushed, but pleased with myself. "Come here."

[eddie_spaghetti]

"Oh, gross, is that champagne?" He asked excitedly, reaching for the bottle and hauling it out of the ice bucket. "They're really going all out," he observed. It somehow didn't occur to him that this was something that Jamie had ordered himself.

Shoving the bottle back into the bucket, he moved to inspect the food, his stomach growling.

"I feel like I could eat a horse."

[lost_boy]

Should we eat first? I realized I had no idea what order this all ought to go in. Dinner first, I thought, then the question, although would the champagne be warm by then? It was in a bucket of ice, so hopefully not, but then, what did I know about champagne?

I was too busy trying to work out how it was meant to happen that I didn't realize Eddie was preparing to eat, so I sat down at the table as well. It probably made more sense to eat first, I decided, as I poured us both some champagne, despite Eddie claiming it was gross.

Dinner was amazing. And I was hungry, too, so it was probably best we ate first. Near the end, full and satisfied, I grinned over the table at Eddie and asked, "It was good, wasn't it?"

[eddie_spaghetti]

"Amazing," Eddie said around a mouthful, his plate nearly licked clean and his champagne glass almost dry.

"When I'm complaining about feeling like shit tomorrow, just remind me the red meat and gluten were worth it."

He knew he didn't have a real gluten intolerance, but it still made him feel kind of bloated the next day if he ate too much of it.

[lost_boy]

"I will," I answered, even though I'd barely heard him. My mouth was suddenly dry, so dry my jaw ached a little, and my heart was thundering behind my breastbone, battering at my ribs. It felt as if my entire chest was preparing to explode.

I was terrified. Nervous. Excited. I was really going to do this.

I stood, trying to be casual, though every movement felt robotic. Across the room, my bag sat on the bed, and I went to it, unzipped a pocket, and retrieved the ring box before I turned back to look at Eddie.

"Um," I said, then drew in a breath that was so shaky I was sure Eddie could hear the way it rattled in my chest. "Eddie, I love you. More than I ever knew was possible and I... well, I found it. Your ring. At least, I think I did, it feels like the right one and, well..."

I opened the box to show him the polished wood band. "Will you marry me?"

[eddie_spaghetti]

Glass to his lips, he somehow managed to inhale the last swallow down into his lungs, staring bug-eyed at the ring box in Jamie's hand as he coughed fitfully.

Somehow, he hadn't expected this. They'd talked about it, but it was some nebulous future event, that he'd assumed he'd have ample time to prepare for.

He hated surprises. But did he hate this one? Only a little.

Mostly, he felt dizzy, his cheeks hot, and it wasn't just from the lack of oxygen. "What?" He squawked.

[lost_boy]

I grinned, loving the way Eddie's cheeks went red, the way he choked, even though I probably shouldn't love that. It was just that the moment was so perfectly Eddie. This was everything I loved about him and even though I had spent all evening terribly nervous, I felt most of that drop away suddenly.

"You heard me," I answered. "We don't have to do the wedding part right away, but this is the ring I want to give you. I want to marry you, Eddie, and so I'm asking if you'll marry me."

[eddie_spaghetti]

Eddie was certain he'd swallowed his tongue. He nodded, dumbly, staring down at the ring and listening to the blood rush in his own ears.

"Yeah, sure. Okay," he finally squeaked out, smiling dazedly.

[lost_boy]

For some reason, I hadn't considered this part. I hadn't considered the yes. Suddenly I wished I had gone down on one knee, like I'd seen on TV, because my legs were shaking and I was a little worried they were going to give out. If I was on one knee, at least I would be close to the ground if I fainted.

"Okay," I echoed, breathless and in awe. My feet started to move on their own, taking me closer to Eddie, still holding the ring box in front of me, as if I needed to lead with it.

"Do you like the ring?" I asked.

[eddie_spaghetti]

"Oh, shit! Yeah, I love it. It's great. What is this, wood?"

What were you supposed to say when your boyfriend gave you an engagement ring, when you'd never considered the possibility of actually wearing them before? Was it bad that he just hoped that the band didn't give him eczema?

[lost_boy]

"Uh-huh," I answered, grinning, as I plucked the ring from the box. "I got a wood ring, the woman who made it said because it's a natural material it wouldn't cause any allergic reactions like some metals can."

My hands were shaking. I could see it now that I was holding the ring, it was trembling between my fingers.

"Can I put it on for you?" I asked.

[eddie_spaghetti]

"Fuck, I love you," he said breathlessly, throwing his arms impulsively around Jamie's neck, his chest aching and his throat tightening.

Holy fuck, he thought he might actually cry. What an asshole.

"Yeah, okay. Fine. Do it," he said, pulling back and shoving his hand in Jamie's face.

[lost_boy]

I held onto Eddie, my arms tight around his waist, my face pressed into his neck as I laughed and whispered, "I love you."

Then he was pulling back, his hand in my face and I said, still laughing, "Stop waving it around, I only have one hand to work with here." But I put the curve of my hook gently under his palm, holding his hand still as I slid the ring onto his ring finger.

I was definitely relieved when it actually fit.

[eddie_spaghetti]

"I'm not waving it around," Eddie protested, while waving his hand around. Finally composing himself, he drew in a breath and let Jamie slide the ring onto his finger.

"Holy shit," he breathed, looking down at it, a little bug-eyed.

[lost_boy]

"Holy shit," I agreed, staring down at the ring as well before I cupped Eddie's hand between my wrists, careful with my hook, and kissed him. I loved him so much. This didn't need to happen tomorrow or next month or even next year, but I still knew it would.

That sent thrills of pleasure and excitement and emotion down my spine. I was shaking a little, my adrenaline having shot up as high as it had ever been, I thought.