The champagne went straight up my nose when I inhaled sharply, caught somewhere between horror and amusement. It was, by far, the grossest and strangest way I had ever heard anyone describe sex and I wanted to kick Elio for it, but I was too busy choking on the bubbles in my sinuses.

"You're a jerk!" I declared, still coughing and laughing all at the same time. "Oh my god."

I loved him so much. In every ridiculous thing he said with the hopes of making me choke or laugh or be horrified, I loved every single part of Elio.